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Mary vs Medusa

reflections on Grima Wormtongue and the fall of the Divine Masculine

One of the positive forms of femininity that a man can receive (both externally and from his internal feminine - his 'anima') is the sense of adequacy that the love/ recognition of a woman can give; Arwen toward Aragorn, Eurydice to Orpheus. The dark feminine polarity, however, can cut a man down in seconds, when she makes him second guess himself or feel inadequate. Grima Wormtongue is such an emasculated man, completely devoured by a dark form of the feminine. His Divine masculinity has been stripped from him. His mother's name is a mystery, and from this we can assume that she was absent during his youth. Was true, authentic mothering withheld from Grima, preventing him from knowing the true meaning of unconditional love and affection? In any case, he is darkly desiring, seeking to consume, to posess, and to prevent the young maiden Eowyn from blossoming into her rightful inheritance: a full embodied expression of the divine feminine.

One of the ways a devouring mother (for it is the mother who has to nurture the feminine with her child) helps to create such 'toxic' masculinity is by only affirming the actions of her son that suits her agenda; her will. The young individual's will plays second fiddle to the Terrible mother's and plays out in adult life as the man-child having no purpose of his own, only the inauthentic "will" of the super ego... the super ego being the authoritarian voice that tells you "you've been a very bad boy". When our personal will is subverted and we walk our path with someone else's guidance system, we are possessed, therefore our actions ring as inauthentic and warped. As this surrogate will isn't his own, he tries to shape the world to his mother's vision. He attempts to conquer it for her, rather than shape it with guidance from his true Will (his Conscience; heart intelligence). If he can distinguish the authentic voice of his Conscience ('with Science') from his super ego, he may be able to follow the omens toward his Destiny.

The Great Mother acts as a moral guide to the youngster exploring his or her Will. She isn't negligent to the point of allowing her sprog to wander the streets, but she always acts from a place of Love when firmer direction has to be enforced. His masculinity is recognised by her femininity, the reflection of which that young man begins to see in himself. He is able to cultivate the Authentic Care as he has a mirror in which this compassion and empathy shines bright. This approach encourages the healthy Divine masculine to develop, which in turn gives him access to a better quality of communication with his anima (inner feminine); to be able to hear one's Yin, which then guides the Yang to (righteously) ACT. It is the goddess within that sees the omens lighting the path as it unfolds before one's feet; the bright lights toward Destiny, which inevitably have to light the way during the descent to the Underworld.

The anima, when integrated, is the intuitive Care/ Compassion he has toward himself and to the world. A helicopter parent, however, can create a rage toward all women, as revenge for the crushing of autonomy. But, when the feminine energy within is in communication with Nature a balanced man, with a strong sense of his anima, is naturally in line with the Cosmic plan set out for him. He can find the niche he is best suited for, rather than trying to please his twisted version of the goddess archetype: Mary vs Medusa. The more masterfully we create a welcoming temple for our anima (a healthy body, Mind and Spirit), the more likely that synchronicity/ omens PRESENT themselves to act as a functioning guidance system. A healthy anima helps one flow with the rapids of life, which bring you surely to magical places, where you can hear your Soul speak.

Find Nature.


You are Her.

In tune, on-phrase, playing your perfect part in the symphony:


~ A.J. Dunbar

Thanks to @unslavedpodcast, Michael Tsarion & David Whitehead for the inspiration and wisdom for these words. Check out for more depth on this subject (and a wealth of wisdom akin to the Library of Alexandria!)


Artwork by Alex Grey


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